I feel so displaced from my body.  Or perhaps my soul.  I can't describe it except to say that I feel like a car crash moving in slow motion.  Pieces of myself are decaying.  School is clogging down the drain.  My relationship with Richie has failed.  I finally screamed at my father to the point that I told him I have never felt like he has loved me, waking my brother up to the screams in the middle of the night.  After being evaluated I was told I am in great danger of harming myself.  I am to go on medicine, but I don't want to live life in the middle.  I won't be myself at all anymore.  I will lose me completely.

I don't want to lose me.